1st of the month revisited

So being the first of the month means its weigh in and measure day. Shows just how slack I have been this month. I think I have been to the gym maybe 3 or 4 times all month. And eaten a little junk food. Trying to cut out coke zero and drink more water. Im up 500g. That is not going to win me the challenge!!

I resolve to do better this month. I resolve to do enough to make myself proud.

And also a big congrats to one of my bestest friends in the whole world Amy - she made it to under 100kgs and is down in the double digits. A little jealous, but so proud because I know how much hard work it takes to get there - well done hun xox

Parameters	1st June	1st July
Weight (kg)	114.8	115.3
Body fat %	76.1	76.5
Bone mass (kg)	1.8	1.8
Muscle mass %	32.5	31.8
Water %	17.8	17.4
Bust (cm)	134	133
Under bust (cm)	124	125
Waist (cm)	126	128
Hips (cm)	138	134
Bum (cm)	128	128
Upper arm (cm)	42	42
Thigh (cm)	76	76
Calf (cm)	49	48.5
Ankle (cm)	27	27

The horse

The one I have to get back on

Been seriously lacking in drive/motivation/sense the last couple of weeks.
Been too short on money to buy petrol for getting to the gym. I know that instead I could do stuff at home since I have stairs and myself and a swiss ball and weights. But when Im at home all I see is house work that needs to be done, which overwhelms me and instead I dont do anything. And then sometimes, instead, I just eat junk. And then I feel bad about eating junk. And to make myself feel better, I eat more crap.

I think maybe because every other time I have succeeded at losing weight, I have managed to put it all on again, plus more. And so I think in the back of my mind, that is there sabotaging me so that it doesnt happen again. And the fear of succeeding and not regaining it - it is such a foreign idea and makes me feel so uncertain.

Time to stop with the bullshit. I can do this. It will take time. I  have to make slow changes. It needs to last forever. It will not happen straight away. I am going to fall down. The main thing is to pick myself up again, dust myself off, and get back on this huge friggin scary horse!!

Unmotivation

I have had a thoroughly unmotivated week this week. We were away until Tuesday afternoon. And I havent gone to the gym once since we've been back. Just been feeling lethargic and generally blah.

But winter being boots time reminds me how much I want and need to do this - if only so i can fit into sexy knee high zip up boots, since my calves are too fat... I go through this every year, and I am vowing here and now, that this is the last freaking time!!!!

Also had takeaways today since Im home alone and its cold and rainy. So I must make a list of things to get with the groceries that I can eat at times like this - like soups and quick meals.

Tomorrow is a new day :) Just because you fall off the wagon, is no need to beat yourself black and blue. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on with it - which is just what I intend to do

And on a positive note, I can type this due to fixing my keyboard so my space bar no longer sticks. Yay for accomplishing something :)

A weekend away

Not the worst eating Ive ever done. Only a bout of boxing over the few days, but not too bad overall. Did drink more water than usual which is good, and feeling ok about turning older. Finding more resolves and stuff too.

Am starting a challenge with a few friends - we are going to try to lose 10kgs. Each week, each of us (4 in total) will put aside $5 and then whoever loses 10kg first wins all the cash. I cant really afford this which motivates me even more not to be giving any money away :)

It was originally going to be the first to lose 10%, so since I am the heaviest, the 10kgs is actually easier for me - woohoo :) Time to kick arse!

Its Friday, Friday....

So Ive been a bit slack with the gym going the last couple of days - cramps from hell and headaches to match. But feeling really bad about it so might take my boxing gear up with me to Foxton so I can beat Jeremy up :)

Going away for the weekend which always has its own challenges to overcome.

I have discovered an amazing blog, by this clever inspirational lady, and Im enjoying reading it. And more so, she has this Habit-A-Week challenge which I am adopting. Week 1 is to drink plenty of water. And rather than waiting until Monday to start something, as a lot of us usually do, I am going to start today. Basically its about drinking enough water for your size, activity level etc. You can calculate it here. Lyn recommends a glass as soon as you wake up, and a glass before every meal or snack, as thats an easy way to try to fit it all in. I just wont have too much before the drive up to Foxton, otherwise we'll be needing to stop for a toilet break every 5 minutes :)

But my goal for the weekend, is to drink plenty of water, even if everything else (eg exercise and eating) falls a little to the wayside, then at least I will have done something healthy and beneficial :) And of course, will resist takeaways and the like so that even my not so great food choices will not be quite so bad :)